No...that's not a rhetorical question.
I'm not thinking aloud, 'Hmmm...I wonder what I can do to disappoint my father...'
It's actually a question, I'm asking you, tell me how do YOU disappoint YOUR father?
I disappoint my own father in many ways. And boy does he rub it in sometimes...its frustrating, really.
Hmmm...Let's see...
Maybe I didn't fulfill his expectations with the college I managed to qualify to attend. But then, it's his own college too. Funnily enough, in the movies, fathers dream of the day their sons would manage to attend their own alma mater. But maybe Thapar University isn't the stuff dreams are made of.
Come to think of it, it's not.
And yet, I blame myself for this eventuality. I remember in class 11 and 12, I conjured up dreams and aspirations of those god-damned IITs, an amazing future in 'ENGINEERING!!!' was before me. But it turns out that in order to do that, you have to give up on life for a few years and cram for a test that is really the bastion of nerdy, rake-thin, bespectacled individuals...people I honestly detest. And I love life too much to give up on it even for a day, let alone two friggin years.
Which brings us to what is probably the next bone of contention.
How I choose to live my life...Let's come straight to it, I'm lazy, and I'm damn well proud of it. I watch more movies, read more books, listen to more music than half the nerdy nerd people I know in college...combined. Call me arrogant and I say screw you!
I come home from college and on a good day, manage to watch a movie, a few episodes of my favourite TV show, read a few chapters of a good book, listen to an hour of awesome online rock radio...all before I go to sleep at what is usually the ungodly hour( for the powers that be...at home) of about 2 am.
According to my father, what I should be doing instead is... (hold your breath) going to the gym, go swimming, spend a few hours studying (a laughable notion, i admit), eating at the family dining table, and then after studying a bit more, going to sleep at the normal (for the powers that be...at home) hour of 11 pm.
Lets set things straight right now...I like the way I've lived my life so far, I damn well love it. And I will continue to live it the way I like, love and want to!
So I will not stop watching a hell of a lot of movies...I will not stop reading and rereading my favourite books on my bed( when I could be...playing outside?)...and I will not start going to sleep before the next day begins.
I am not an 80 year old lady, I refuse to live my life like one. I refuse to have a routine.
If I'm a disappointment, I'm sorry, I never meant to be. But this is who I am, this is how I choose to live my life, this is how I will probably live the next few years of my life(until a great big life-changing experience befalls me)...I'm happy, and people who love me and care about me can either choose to be happy about the fact that I'm happy, or they can choose to be miserable and disappointed because they see me making horrible HORRIBLE mistakes.
I've got news, I don't give a rat's fart either way.
I have never doubted and never will doubt the fact that my father loves me very much. More than probably anyone else in the whole world loves me(doesn't include you, mom!).
But I do wish I could be trusted enough to make my own mistakes, learn my own lessons and live my own life.
But now I ask you again, tell me, how do YOU disappoint your father?
PS- the picture above is largely unrelated...i just really loved it...
