Here I sit, in the back of my parents’ car; my dad is
driving, my mom is sitting in the passenger seat, I’m sitting in the back seat
like a good boy.
It’s a warm, fuzzy, wonderful feeling.
A few minutes ago, I felt a sudden, inexplicably
wonderful regression to my childhood, when such scenes were everyday.
Here I sit, in the back of my parents’ car; with my
earphones on, feeling like what Soundgarden would say, ‘Blow up the
outside world!’
Here I sit, in the back of my parents’ car; with my
earphones, listening to loud Linkin Park and mellow Green Day, just like the
teenaged boy who I never grew up from.
A few minutes ago, I just wanted to write this down, to remember this feeling. It is a good feeling. I feel like a boy.
I feel like a boy.
So I whipped out my computer.
You know when you open up a laptop in the backseat of a
car, GT Road is suddenly not a single bit as smooth as you remembered it.
The sun was in my eyes, from the right window, just a
while ago; there’s a pillow on the seat next to me. I grabbed it, slid down the
right window a little, stuck a little piece of the fabric of the pillowcase
outside the sliver of an opening, and pushed the window right back up.
There.
Sun problem solved.
I tap my mom on the shoulder, and point out the wonderful
thing I’ve just done. She smiles, my dad asks what I’m talking about, she tells
him. He smiles too.
I feel like such a kid!
There’s a grin wider than my face on my lips.
This is so stupid.
Why does this amuse me?
Here I sit, in the back of my parents’ car; and now Trapt
scream their lungs out.
I’m going to Delhi!
I’m going to meet my friends! This is such a ‘yay’ moment!
Well there’s the slightly serious matter of an interview
to get through before all that.
There’s a printout of all the key points in this year’s
budget on the seat beside me.
When did I grow up so much?
Here I sit, in the back of my parents’ car; I’m reading
about the budget, and about Mahindra Satyam’s merger.
Wait, wait! Back to the regressively (is that even a
word?) wonderful moment, wait no, wonderfully regressive moment(yes that's better) I had some time ago.
Here I sit, in the back of my parents’ car; Chester
Bennington’s sweet melodious voice slowly starts singing ‘My December’ in my
ears…
And I’m a kid again, when I still used to wonder what
Chester was so sad about…I didn’t know then…
Like my man Harvey Dent says in that Batman movie, 'You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.'
It's the same thing in torrid friendships. You either get out of them early, all happy and content, or see yourself get humiliated for something that happened so quick you never even saw it coming.
This is me going off on one of my rants again. Oops I did it again... Hit me baby one more time.
Fuck.
I might use that word or one of its many lovely derivatives a lot in this post.
Please leave if you are easily offended, I don't need you reading my fucking blog.
One of my core beliefs is, and I probably read about it or heard it somewhere a long time ago, it is the fact that in all relationships, every single one of them - not just the romantic ones, there is a loser and there is a winner. Take any personal relationship that you have, if you cannot identify the loser in 3 seconds, I'm sorry, but you're him/her. There is an upper hand, there always is...and it may change during the lifetime of that relationship, but someone always has the upper hand. It is always the person who needs the other person less. That, there, is the upper hand.
Now, don't get all idealistic on me, and say, nooo...my relationship with so & so is perfect, we both need and love and cherish each other the equal amount.
Get real.
I've seen too many of these perfect fucking relationships go to shit all around me in the last 6 years to even care anymore.
*awesome inspirational advertisement music*
Are you trampled by the moral and ethical code that society has decided for you?
Are you feeling cramped by the way that you're supposed to behave? Do you feel the need to break free?
Is there something else you'd rather be doing than trudging along society's agreed upon 'good' path?
Well if so, I have the perfect solution for you!
Man the fuck...up! You little bitch, grow some balls!
Drink that beer! Smoke that joint! Read that book! Play that guitar!
Get high! Get laid! Get a BJ! Give a BJ!
Fall in love! Fall out of love! Tell that bitch she's obnoxious! Tell that asshole he's dumb!
Make friends! Make enemies! Get in a fight!
Drive faster than you've ever driven before! Brake harder than you've ever braked before!
And for all you nerds out there... STUDY FOR THAT EXAM!!! HARDER THAN EVAAR!
*awesome inspirational advertisement music ends*
Get laid, goddamit! Oh and yes, I've heard all the arguments... This is so immoral, we're being 'westernised'; oh woe this corrupted youth of today!
I'll tell you what, so many people I know, they need to get laid, they positively need to have SEX... S-E-X!!!
The sexual frustration I see in most people is fucking terrifying!!!
Fuck it, if you couldn't get laid yourself, suddenly it's immoral? All this shit that happens around Valentine's day? It's pathetic! Believe me, in my opinion V-day is a shitty hallmark holiday; it holds no meaning for me what-so-ever, but to outlaw it, like so many vigilantes love to do, is outrageous!
'Love marriage'? Why do they call it a 'love marriage'? Isn't that fucking redundant? What other kind is there? What's the point of marrying if you're not in love?
Oh hey! It's just sanction to get laid, woohoo!!!
Hypocrites.
You know what I'm talking about...
I'm talking about that girl who thinks she's too good for you!
I'm talking about that guy who's a lying scumbag!
That professor who gives you a hard time just because he's in a sham of a marriage, or because his kids think he's a loser.
That traitorous 'friend' you once had who betrayed you like a little bitch.
Sometimes all you do is, you give.
If you’re one of the lucky ones, sometimes all you do is, you take.
Remember that girl who you had that crush on in school?
Or that guy…
Whenever you saw her, you made sure you followed her around, for at least a few
corridors.
You gave attention.
She never did know that you existed.
Unless you were one of the lucky ones, and all you did was, you took.
Do you…do you remember leaving school? It was hard enough
leaving the place you’d grown up in…it was harder to finally say goodbye to
that girl, who you had never talked to…that girl who, it was finally evident,
you were never going to have a chance with.
Your friends, you’re sure they never realized what they meant to you. They
meant more to you than you ever did to them.
Give and take…
You give, thinking that some day you’ll receive…in turn.
The day that never comes.
That girl, your friend…that girl in college, who you
always pay special attention to. Yes, her…
You’re always depositing…in that account. There’s bound
to be a big return in the offing… It’s coming…soon.
Do you know that this is one of more than 184 million
blogs on the internet?
That is 184,000,000.
The population of human beings on earth just crossed 7
billion.
That is 7,000,000,000.
You are 1.
You and I make 2.
There is so much that you and I have not seen.
There is so much that you and I, given ten more
lifetimes, could not possibly see.
There are so many places I want to see.
That yet undiscovered beach on Africa’s western coast.
The grand canyon on a moonlit night. The Inca ruins of Machu Picchu. The canals
in Venice. Gangotri, where the world’s holiest water body is born. Base Camp
below Mount Everest. Stonehenge.
The white light at the end of the tunnel.
We are so afraid, you and I.
We are afraid of consequence. The unforeseen, we are
afraid of it.
The dark is unforeseen, and so we are afraid of it.
Death is unforeseen, and so we are afraid…
We are afraid of what MIGHT happen.
A girl will not go out with a boy because she’s afraid
that this MIGHT end up messing up their friendship. She does not know that they
might end up living that great fairy-tale life, having babies, growing old together.
Being happy for the rest of their lives together. How many of us will get to
experience that?
A father will not let his son join the navy because he’s
afraid that this MIGHT end up in a situation, an unlikely situation, where his
son is in mortal peril. He does not know that his son might end up living an
extraordinary life, that he might end up finding mates and friends the likes of
which he could never have thought of. Brothers. How many of us will get to have
such friendships?
A friend will not go on an ‘illegal’ (at home) vacation
with his college buddies, because he’s afraid that his parents will find out
and it MIGHT end up making things difficult at home for a few weeks. He does
not know that this trip will be their last together, one they will remember for
the rest of their lives, one which will affect each of their lives in such a profound way… How many of us will
get to have such memories?
We are afraid…
Do you know you are standing on a rock, flying around another
rock, which just happens to be on fire, at more than 100,000 kilometers an
hour? And that this rock has been doing this for the last four and a half billion years?
A girl is in love with a boy. This boy lives a very long
distance away. There is absolutely no chance of them being together.
A boy, being a boy, is in love with this girl…this girl
who is in love with some other boy. There…is…absolutely…no…chance…of…them…being…together.
What do you expect him to do?
What do you expect her to do?
Do you know that there are more than 7 trillion galaxies
in the observable universe?
Most of these galaxies have more than 100 billion stars.
You, sir, are a speck…like I am.
No, wait…we are not specks. The sun might be a speck, or
perhaps the Milky Way is a speck.
We? We’re nothing. In the grand scheme of things, when
you look at it as a whole, we are a cosmic accident. We are an anomaly in a
vastly barren universe.
God? Perhaps he has not yet had time to look over at this
side of the universe to see that something is going on here, which he probably did not intend.
Life, we call it. It is inexplicable.
It seems like simple chemistry, yet it is not.
Do you know that the observable universe is a sphere with
a radius of about 45 billion light years.
That is 45,000,000,000 light years.
That is 425723778000000000000000 kilometers.
Are you naïve enough to think that you matter?
Yes you are…I know I am.
You will, in this lifetime, or in some other, spend 14
years in school. You will then probably spend 4 years in college. And then for
the rest of your life, you will work.
Throughout this, you have already met, or are going to meet, so many unbelievably extraordinary people…they will be your
friends, your siblings, your teachers, your lovers, your parents, your children…
We…are afraid of what might, or might not, be.
People will come to be infinitesimal distances close to
you. And then, poof!
People will pledge their undying love.
You will swear that things will never change.
You will swear!
And then…
You will swear at the way things turned out.
You…will…swear!
If it makes you happy, do it. You are afraid of what might,
or might not…be.
If it is morally
wrong, but it makes you happy, do it. Morals, or laws, or rules might, or might
not be written in ink, but you are that one unique cosmic accident that got you
where you are now.
Nobody has lived your
life. Nobody has ever felt what you
have felt.
I may be paraphrasing Dr.Manhattan here, but it’s true…it’s
true that if out of all those years of evolution, your dad just happened to meet your mom, and that one
cell won the race against a million others, and out of everything that has
happened in the entire thirteen and a half billion
year history of the universe, it all resulted in you sitting exactly where you
are sitting right now.
You simply cannot
ignore that you are a miracle… and yet you are afraid of what might, or might not be!
If there is that girl who you’ve been putting off talking
to for the last six months, talk to her. If nothing else, it will be a
flattering experience for her.
If there is that story you always wanted to put down on
paper, write it down. If nothing else, atleast your mom will love it.
You do not know what is going to happen . Then why be
afraid of it?
